Madness

From the Mind of Madness

Archive for April 2008

Wordless Wednesday

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Madness is still trying to figure out if she is capable of not speaking.

 Ok wait .. are you LIMITED to just one image on Wordless Wednesday? Or can I like, keep adding images as the day goes on? Because if I can do THAT .. then I am  all.  over.  it.

So.. ggidd-ee-yup..

 One of my FIRST thoughts of the day today was THIS:

PETE WENTZ IS GAY! THERE, I said it! I dont care what anybody says .. Pete Wentz is gay. Look at that pic and *tell me* Pete Wentz isnt G A Y!

Oh, youre just not so sure because he’s all “I knocked up Ashley Simpson” an’shit.

Well.. have a looksie at this

That kid is gay .. I’m just sayin.

Shortly after the demons released Madness from the “Pete Wentz is gay” rant .. Madness was overcome by this

**stay tuned .. Madness computer is being an asshat and now Madness must throw it in the trash restart**

oh-kay .. ahem ..

You see .. Madness lives in the MidWest. MmmHmm.. say it with Madness.. the MidWest. The national economy is tanking .. and in the MidWest .. the economy is CRASHING AND BURNING. MmmHmm.  It IS
Madness works in healthcare.  One might not think that the healthcare industry is being effected by the tanking economy but let me assure you it is.

Thanks evil satan spawn GeorgieBoy 😉

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Written by Madness

April 30, 2008 at 1:14 pm

Posted in Wordless Wednesday

Oh Hell NO! I think I pee’d my pants!

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I apologize right now to everyone in the blog-o-sphere and everyone within a 30 mile radius of here .. for I was the source of the mind scraping SQUEAL that woke you all this morning.  Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry. 

But you see.. I had such good reason to behave in such an uncontrollable manic way (please dont tell my doctor, please dont tell my doctor, please dont tell my doctor)

THIS IS WHY I woke you all with that mind scraping SQUEAL :

Oh.My.Gawdess.Yes.  B O S S Y wuz here!  I cant believe it. Bossy, the BOSS of the BLOG, read my last post and left a comment.  MmmHmm.. she did.         *sigh*

And now I’m expected to umm.. work.. or something for the rest of the day. PSHHAW!

“What does Madness DO for a living that gives her so much time to read and write blogs?” you ask.  Well, Madness has what you might call a cush job. MmmHmm.  Madness works for a group of sorry ass suckers surgeons and all Madness has to do is sit here and wait for that thing to ring.  Seriously. 

Oh, and FYI… yes, we talk about you and how stupid you are when we hang up with you. 😉

 

 

 

Written by Madness

April 29, 2008 at 3:41 pm

Posted in Random Madness

Did you write today ? … today I did

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Monday morning in the Mind of Madness sounded a little like this

*crank* ~ *sputter* ~ *silence*

*crank* ~ *sputter* ~ *silence*

this went on for HOURS about 3 minutes before MaxX came outside to see what the trouble was.  whats the trouble whats the trouble whats the trouble???  Hmm .. the thingy isnt making the thingy do what its suppose to do when I do this with that thing.

 

THATS the trouble. *sigh*

Were any of you wondering what $5 of the blood of Christ  unleaded gasoline looks like?  I happen to know what five whole dollars worth of the blood of Christ  unleaded gasoline looks like.. and let.me.tell.you. it aint much. *sigh*

So after the tablespoon of the blood of Christ  gasoline was inserted into the rear of my (oh my.. ahem) so after the the blood of Christ  gasoline was dribbled into the tank, the thingy made the thingy do what it was suppose to do when I did that to it and I was OFF to start my day.  Fifteen minutes later I slide into work 13 minutes late. Oh. Um. Yay.  Six minutes after that Im on the phone with the “IT” guy. Why? Because Madness changed her password on Friday and Madness has no freakin idea what she changed it to.. so Madness  had to admit that shes a total fuck up having a bad day.

Then Madness opened her email and what did Madness find?

A love note from these folks

MmmHmm .. they are bringing Madness this little number

MmmHmm .. thats my sexy new baby phone. She will be mine tomorrow.

My best friend Bossy is home from Bossys Excellent Road Trip … 10, 000 miles, all around the country in 5 weeks.  Read all about it at www.iambossy.com

You might also check out www.mariabamford.com THAT bitch is fuh-nee.

 

Written by Madness

April 28, 2008 at 6:08 pm

Posted in Random Madness

Back Up and Running

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Our internet was down yesterday.. and through the night. It came back on at some point this morning. For that I am thankful.

I’ll have to blog tomorrow..today I am exhausted.

Written by Madness

April 25, 2008 at 7:42 pm

Posted in Random Madness

Wordless Wednesday

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darnit.. i wish it were a BIG pic 😦

I love love love love when babies do this 😀

 

Written by Madness

April 23, 2008 at 12:19 pm

Posted in Random Madness

Once upon a few days ago, a Good Samaritan did a Good Thing

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Once upon a few days ago, a Good Samaritan did a Good Thing and that Good Thing turned into a very Good Thing today for Me and MaxX.

a Good Samaritan once purchased this GEM (retail..i know…) :

Oh heck yes! MaxX and Me had us a *date* today. MmmHmm 😉 MaxX and Me went to the Evil Institution of Satan bank today which was a surprisingly sugary sickening visit. Thank you large scary waytoo overly smiley cackley nice bank manager lady.. *waves* “Hi-Hello!!” 😀

Thankfully still, MaxX and Me didnt have to jump that guys beastly p.o.c (thats ‘~piece.of.crap~’ for ya’ll who didnt know. Lynn.) with OUR rediculous p.o.s. (thats ‘~piece.of.shit. for ya’ll who didnt know. Lynn.) minivan. Yay.

Ya so.. back to that GEM of a Good Thing found while MaxX and Me were out on our *date*  today. After the Institution of Satan bank, we had a pah-rooz around the thrift shoppe.  (No, Im not trying to be hoity-toity.. shop is an auto repair shop, shoppe is a store. Its just the right way to spell shit) MaxX and Me l.o.v.e going to the thrift shoppe on account of MaxX has this remarkable talent for scoring every single piece of the thrift shoppes fancy schmancy name brand clothing in 20 minutes or less. The man is awe inspiring in oh so many ways. 

After watching him do his thang for a while I started to get dizzy with awe and ventured out on my own to the childrens section.  You see, I too have a remarkable talent for scoring each and every piece of fancy schmancy name brand clothing in the chidlrens section of any given thrift outlet. Oh. Yes. I. Do. and it’s fantastic.

Two aisles between Hilfiger haven and the childrens section my eye catches sight of that which we now hold sacred in My house …

Oh heck yes! Once upon a time ago..some totally rad person purchased this Vote for Pedro t-shirt. Said totally rad person gave said t-shirt to some lame-o who never wore it had the same scary stalker like obsession  appriciation for Napoleon Dynamite that I do and said totally rad person took very good care of this priceless piece of pop culture trash GEM and in an obvious moment of delusion GAVE this sacred specimin to the Salvation Army Thrift Shoppe. MmmHmm… and now MaxX and Me and the rest of our Madness family have this t-shirt which we shall covet. Yay!

Oh, and I also picked up this little number .. a new super exciting ultra coool   bedskirt. Yay.

 

Written by Madness

April 20, 2008 at 4:11 am

Posted in Random Madness

Yay! Maddy hasnt chucked ALL DAY~~hurlchuckralph~~ er.. oh

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Yeah.. you guessed it.  D went the ENTIRE day yesterday with no vomit. Last night she said her tummy was hurting and she wanted chicken noodle soup and applesauce for dinner instead of the BBQ chicken corn and potatoes.. ok, no problem.  She had done so well all day, even played outside!! I figured she was on the mend so I gave her sister T the last.can.of.chicken.noodle.soup for dinner too. (insert idiot mom remark here)

All was well well well… then at 4:12 am I hear my oldest daughter H talking to baby D.

So I shout from bed “Whats wrong!?!”

“Shes gonna BLOW!!”, H hollars back

“Get her to the toilet!! Fast!!”, I reply (we neglected to bring the “official puke bowl” up to bed with her)   UP I spring from my cozy warm bed say to myself.. GET UP WOMAN! Youre a Momma! GET UP! argh.. stumble.. Where are my PANTS!?!? *glare at hubby for he is the reason I am not wearing pants* Pants found *whew* Pants are inside out *grunt*

*sigh* poor pumpkin sugar bear baby *sigh*

Question: Are you a “Bad Momma” if you gently and lovingly rush your vomiting 6 year old because youre doing the pee-pee dance at 4:12 am and need to use the toilet that she is currently using for an equally urgent matter? just wondering.

So into bed with D I collapse climb *sigh* oh babe 😦

Oh, thats right… I let the kids finish off the Sprite and Chicken Noodle Soup because I thought baby D was all better.  Oh, and yay, I have to be to work at 8:00 am. Oh, so yay, that means I have to rush a trip to the corner HajiMart Gas Station and pay $5.99 for a can of chicken noodle soup and $3.99 for a 2 litre of Sprite. Oh, and TODAY is payday, you say?  So I have a whopping $6.00 to my name till I get my paycheck. Oh, thats lovely. No problem.. I just WONT SHOWER and we’ll see how far we get on $6.00 at the HajiMart Gas Station.  (**update** 2 litre of Sprite and two cans of Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup total = $5.75 .. going to work without showering and $.25 to your name … PRICELESS!)

So here I am at work.. not sure what I smell like.. sick baby D at home 😦

Today is gonna suck donkey balls.

Written by Madness

April 17, 2008 at 12:41 pm

Posted in Random Madness